Why are things on our minds?

20/09/2022 - stream of consciousness

So many thoughts and so much chattering, the mind constantly needing to justify its very own existence. I see this now, this process of the brain that suddenly got me into a blank state where I could not write. Interesting… I worry suddenly that it may affect me permanently - there is one of those thoughts again.

But after all, they are empty. They are not this piece of writing, they are not the unbounded creativity that appears through focusing on the present moment.

Do I consider my previous path a failure? Perhaps not, only a lack of understanding, a lack of philosophical and epistemological depth. As these pages have fed me small harvests at a time… I now meditate on that previous sentence, which is odd and does not get the intent across. I wonder about all those things that I have written and then deleted, perhaps because they lacked innate “Quality”, either upon revisiting or right as the words combined.

Questions come and go in my brain, and I now feel like I have the tools and am ready to face them all, one-by-one. If you ask what the meaning of life is? Then there are so many other questions, all as empty as each other.

Well, what is meaning? Why do you feel there is a need for it? What happens if it is not there?

What if I told you that whatever “meaning” is to you, you can always find it, at every frame, at every fraction of a moment, if you only just pay attention, listen and let go of everything?

The mind’s constant chatter reveals its desperate need to validate its own existence through concepts, worries, and endless projections. Yet in the space between thoughts, in the simple act of attention to what is actually happening right now, something else emerges.

This writing itself becomes a meditation - words flowing not from the thinking mind but from a deeper source of awareness that doesn’t need to justify itself. The creative force that moves through us when we stop trying so hard to be creative.

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